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Dumb things one thinks up in the shower.... [Aug. 21st, 2006|10:51 am]
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Just something random I thought up, and was going to put on my door.

I am currently taking a shower. Before making a nuisance of yourself, please read down this list and see which applies to you.
-If you are a burglar, leave as there's nothing of any interest to you here. Our DVD player is broken, our TV's older than I am, and there's max $5 in the change jar. If you'd teach me how to pick locks, knock and wait five minutes.
-If you're a psycho and want to kill someone, don't kill me. Knock and wait five minutes, then I'll tell you a bunch of other people you should kill. On top of that, I'll help you hide the bodies.
-If you want to rape me, leave immediately. I believe that castration is an effective punishment for rapists, and won't hesitate to carry out the sentence myself.
-If you're a mob hitman, you have the wrong address. You mean to go to the house of my grade school principal.
-If you're selling something:
--if it's chocolate, knock and wait five minutes. It'll be worth your while. :-)
--if it's flowers, leave. Or buy some aloe plants off of me. Your choice.
--if it's appliances, leave and jump off a cliff.
--if it's anything else, either leave or knock and wait five minutes.
-If you've come to deliver our new computer, knock and wait five minutes. If you don't wait, I'll redirect the murderous psycho after you.
-If you've come to profess your undying love for me, knock in the pattern of Beethoven's pastoral symphony so I can prepare myself, then wait five minutes.
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: [info]madame_maya
2006-08-21 09:02 pm (UTC)

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*Snicker*
[User Picture]From: [info]boleniana
2006-08-21 09:13 pm (UTC)

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Glad you found that amusing. Thanks for the comment. (Have you seen my icons?)
[User Picture]From: [info]boleniana
2006-08-21 09:16 pm (UTC)

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At the bottom on those "sponsored search links" it has something about 'NJ art schools'; for a second I thought it said 'ninja schools'!
From: [info]droiche
2006-10-01 07:03 am (UTC)

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I like how you think. ^_^
[User Picture]From: [info]boleniana
2006-10-01 10:23 pm (UTC)

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Thanks. So, you think that way too?

...

*evil planz!*
From: [info]droiche
2006-10-01 11:02 pm (UTC)

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I do. Rubs paws together with glee. ^_^

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